The Fall

Just over a week into my planned goal of starting a school Yoga club and working at improving my physical health, I had a fall.

It had recently began to snow and I was attending a teaching conference while my wife and kids were away visiting grandparents. I had been very busy while there were away doing school prep and also getting things ready for an upcoming art show I was to have the following weekend.

As I was leaving my house to rush off to my Friday sessions I had a slip on my deck stairs and fell with a twist while carrying awkward items in both arms. I knew instantly that my fall was a bad one and exactly what I didn’t need prior to a busy weekend and the start of a goal intended for a Masters school project.

I slowly stood up and as I reached to pick up my dropped items I realized that I couldn’t reach down for them at all. Channeling my leg muscles, I was barely able to squat down to pick them up whilst keeping my spine in a completely upright position. I managed to make it through the day but by the morning of the next I was nearly unable to get out of my bed.

As the new week began I was supposed to be preparing to start my new Yoga club but as I was barely able to make it to and from the school, let alone teach my daily courses, I decided to postpone and re-evaluate my timing. Everything became difficult: sitting was difficult, walking was difficult, moving was difficult. Between caring for kids, preparing for an upcoming art show, and doing my job I had no ability or strength for anything else. I became terribly irritable and sank into feelings of deep frustration and near despair.

Then, as I began to go through the readings for my course, I found myself discovering and learning more about my own processes of motivation. I realized that for every dark place I’ve gone into in the past, I’ve always been able to find it within myself to seek my way out. I learned about how so my propensity for actions such as self talk and self praise could be used specifically as strategies for improving self efficacy. Then it hit me……I needed to remind myself that I would be ok……”I will roll with the punches and look at my problem from different perspectives…. This is a bump in the road…. I’ve come through so much worse before….. I’ve risen from lower places and I will rise from this as well.”

I stepped back, out of my desolate mirror cabinet of feeling sorry for myself and considered, “What do I need to do?”

I needed to book a chiropractor, a physio appointment, I needed to start doing Yoga in the space I was going to host classes….even if just by myself. I needed to initiate the practice. So I did. I wrote out my list and explained my goals and commitments to my wife who looked at me like I was some dummy who finally came up with a good idea.

So I’ve begun. I’ve got my appointments set and have begun to do Yoga in the space. Next week I will put up my posters and hope students join me. I’m still unsure if I will be ready to try to run a class before my Masters course ends, but who knows. I just know that I have begun…..I almost got derailed, but I picked myself back up and back on the path.

I don’t prescribe to the idea that everything happens for a reason, that seems too easy a crutch to clasp. However, I do think that the best stories are full of unexpected turns, especially ones where the protagonist must learn, adapt, redeem themselves, and ultimately grow. I have grown to love my story however sad, beautiful, bitter or joyous it may get.

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